Tuesday, 22 September 2015

parenting liar liar pants on fire!

Sometimes it's other parents that make our days so much shitter and it shouldn't be, we should be in this together. I know my children aren't perfect, they are not genius' but they are lovely... sometimes, I mean when Isabelle isn't doing her high pitch scream! & when Oliver isn't moaning about some thing or another or like he did this morning told me I was too fat.. yeah thanks *thinks to self* you just lost your pudding mate! I might be chubbier than I was before I had Isabelle but so what, I'll lose it slowly (preferably in the next 18months before I have to wear a white dress) but right now I'm comfort eating these early terrible twos days away.

What gets me the most is when other parents make you feel like they're competing with you, it's something that unfortunately I've experienced a fair few times over the last 6 years of being a mum and I just don't understand why its required. I would rather tell you actually this is really hard, I'm struggling a little, I'm tired or I need 5 minutes peace.

There's some parents who when you tell them for example Isabelle says nah-nahh meaning banana they come back with oh well my *insert name here... I couldn't think of one!* can actually say the alphabet at 10 months, knows all of his colours and tells me he loves me every night before he goes to sleep - perfectly by himself every night without fail I might add, sleeping through the night until atleast like 9am so I can wake up and look perfectly perfect each day, make up already done and everything sorted for the day ahead, probably even got a perfectly cleaned home. Yes, really? Ok. Well I'm clearly doing something majorly wrong here or you're a liar liar pants on fire! I have a messy house but I've got happy kids so that's fine.

So to other mums out there that have ever experienced a parent like this...
  1. Smile but ignore what they're saying. No child is perfect! They're perfect to us and we love them more than anything but they are not Albert Einstein and Mother Teresa all in one. Why do these parents need to make others feel bad? to make themselves feel better? No sense. Lets just be nice.
  2. If your child like my son Oliver is behind with something, his is reading - it's fine! They will catch up, I did when I was little and I can obviously read ok now. I hated when he had his phonics test at the end of year 1, seems so stressful for them especially because he knew it was happening, he hadn't been able to hear because of glue ear so he got a bit behind anyway and then he had 3 weeks off school because of half term, having his grommets operation then tonsillitis and scarlet fever. The day he went back he had his phonics test and failed to get the pass mark so he was very upset. We have got him a tutor and obviously we help him too but we have found he works better with someone else!! I learnt so by sitting on the stairs listening to him read with his tutor. I mean honestly, I am basically begging or bribing this child with treats in exchange for him reading the book to me but with his tutor oh wow he can suddenly read it? Thank you muchly Oliver.
  3. If your toddler has tantrums out in public as hard as it is just go with the flow! You might get some dirty looks but a lot of the looks you're going to get are from other parents thinking 'Been there!!' It is really hard when you're trying everything you can think of to get this tiny person to stop screaming the loudest they possibly can. You know they're frustrated about something but what?! Helpful suggestions get me, "do you think you should pick her up or let her walk?" oh what so I can get to where I need to be so much slower, I'm clearly running a little late but otherwise great suggestion thanks..
  4. Emergency snacks are fine! I often find myself giving Isabelle some smoothie melts to keep her quiet so I can quickly have a look around a shop or drink a cup of tea while it's still warm... ah warm tea. isn't that nice.

I know there are some children that are practically perfect in every way! Mine obviously are, like totally perfect. Oliver never wakes me up anymore, Isabelle is potty trained and speaking to me lots and yeah ok I'm lying. But seriously just because our children are perfect to us, they don't need to be 'perfect' at everything. Relax competitive mums & dads and stop making others feel pants.

Kind regards,
The tired grumpy mum - that should of been my blog name! dammit.

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

I love my garden... by Oliver.

Oliver is off school today because he was in hospital yesterday having an operation to have grommets fitted in both ears so that he can now hear properly. The difference already is amazing! He's having a lazy day at home today to recover and is writing this post with a little bit of help from mummy because he wants to win a playhouse for him and his little sister to play in.

So this is our entry into Waltons blogger competition to win a wooden playhouse. If you'd like to enter please visit Twin Mummy and Daddy for the details.

I like playing in my garden because I love playing with Isabelle, she is my little sister who is sometimes grumpy but often she laughs and is fun. My most important job in the garden is to water our flowers, when I'm not at school I water them twice a day. Not if it's been raining though as they have already been watered then. Our garden is small not like our grandparents gardens, they are big. Our front garden is bigger although its a weird circle shape with steps which mummy finds difficult with the pushchair, it's got some toys out there and my bird feeder too. Our back garden (mummy says - if you can call it a 'garden' more of a square of space!) hasn't got anything in it and would be an ideal home for a new playhouse like this one from Waltons pictured above.
I like being outside and mummy encourages that. I am a bird watcher and now I've got my own bird feeder in the garden so lots of them come to visit me and I get to feed them. I can see them from my window but what I really like is sitting in the garden and watching birds come to say hello. Robins seem to come to say hello alot. They like my daddy too, he's a landscape gardener so he's always outside - even in the rain! That's a photo of me at 8 months old on my snail rocker in the garden. Isabelle would like that rocker.
 This was my first paddling pool. Every summer I like paddling pools - they've got bigger now!!
 My first ball pit in the garden, I've asked mummy if Isabelle can have one like this too and I can help her to play with it.
 Mummy said that swimming pool was £1 in the pound shop! It was perfect size for just little me.
 Here I am trying to steal some ice cream from my mummy! Isabelle is allergic to ice-cream so now we need to be really careful with ice cream.
 I love watering flowers in the garden and here I am doing it when I was little at nanny's house. Her red tulips were pretty and I even had a red plane rocker there!
 I love to play sports in the garden, I still have this basket ball hoop so Isabelle can play with me too.
 Here I am watering more flowers in grandparents garden.
 I really like the pretty flowers in nanny's garden, here I am having a walk around.
 Mummy said I liked to sit at the door and watch the rain - how silly was I?
 but being in the garden made me  this happy! and it still does...
 This was my police cat Gizmo. He lives with grandad in heaven now but he was a really nice cat. Isabelle has the police car now.
 I had a slide in the garden but my favourite thing to do was the push cars and trucks, diggers down it instead of myself.
 I love having birthday parties in the garden, this was my 3rd birthday party. I had a bouncy castle which was really fun. We kept it all day long until I went to bed.
 I LOVE sand pits in the garden, I enjoy building sand castles and making forts. My mummy had to change to sand alot because I made it messy.
 Here I am being Iggle Piggle. How silly.
 I love to do gardening in the garden with daddy, he shows me what to do.
 This is my fire chief bike I got for my birthday a few years ago. I love being outside.
 Doing some more gardening again!
 This  is the view from my window... I wanted to add it and mummy said ok.
 Daddy had a greenhouse so he spends time growing pretty flowers for the garden.
 This is me with my old garden toy, I've given it to Isabelle now and she loves it. We spend ages in the garden together now.
 This is police officer Isabelle, she hasn't learnt to move along by herself yet so we push her but her legs get caught under the car! silly her.
 We love catching bubbles together!
 Isabelle likes to point at plants in the garden. Isabelle points alot.
 Here I am when I was little with the same play frame - how much have I grown!
 And now here is my little sister Isabelle with the same play frame. Nanny kept it in her garden for years and then she cleaned it and gave it to us for Isabelle to play in.
 Isabelle likes to wear her sun hat, it's her favourite. She always wears it if the suns out and when I take it off her head she screams. She likes to sit on this wall.
 Here we are playing on the playframe. this is really fun. Isabelle likes to push me down the slide, that really makes her giggle. She's trying to walk up the slide but she needs a little bit of help when she gets to the top. This playframe has a wheel so we pretend it's a pirate ship, I am the captain though.

We would LOVE to win the playhouse from Waltons. We would have pretend tea parties and invite all our teddy bears. I would ask daddy to make us a plant pot with some nice flowers in so we can have it next to our front door.

Oliver, x

What mummy says: I think it's really important to have children outside, playing and garden toys really help to encourage them to play not only together but alone too which is good. I let Oliver watch tv or play games on the kindle but I limit these to a certain amount of time because I want him outside playing and the same applies to Isabelle. If I'm hanging the washing out I have her out there playing with me. Oliver's favourite thing to do in the garden is actually dig up some mud with one of my spoons! Which obviously isn't getting back into my cultery drawer now... I'm surprised he didn't mention that or his scooter actually. We have wanted a playhouse for a while now and would love this one from Waltons.  If we won I would get them a little kitchen to put inside it and a few chairs (I'd make sure they were the same so they didn't fuss over who got the 'best one'). I love Oliver's idea of putting flowers outside the door - how sweet!  

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Todays baby changing bag

I absolutely love changing bags and pink lining are up there with my favourite. I have about 8 changing bags that I use.

This blooming gorgeous one is lovely, I really like the print and how spacious it is, you can fit so much inside while. Enough for a day out at the zoo for a family of 4 - it's been put to the test twice this month already! I love that theres two carrying options with this bag and I love (very important to me) that even though it's 'big' it still fits in my pushchairs shopping basket meaning I don't have to have it on the handle bar. The two side pockets are coming in very handy now that Isabelle is having bottles of milk during the day - the breastfeeding needed to come to a slow end at some point didn't it? I'm still doing the morning feed and expressing at night so that shes got some milk for porridge should she want it (currently turns her nose up at the porridge!)

I don't leave the house without the things below... as well as some spare clothes ofcourse!

OK OK once recently I left the house without my keys - oops. I'm still loving aden+anais muslins even though Isabelle is 13 months old, I just think they're so handy to use as a blanket now the weathers a little bit better. Isabelle often likes to snuggle one to get comfy or ofcourse play peek-a-boo! Nappies and wipes are a must, having said this I did run out the other day... I've now stocked up on them. I like to take Isabelle's toy teething keys incase she might like to have them over my actual keys... doesn't always work!

There's not much 'safe' food for Isabelle so on days out we really rely on taking these Ella's kitchen pouches, the two that are safe for her are - Strawberries and apples, Bananas and apples. Now she's older there's no need for a spoon and she just eats it from the pouch.

Finally we love to take out a 'That's not my...' book, Isabelle absolutely loves these and we are trying to get a little collection together. This is a new one she recently got, I think it's newly released too.

What do you never leave the house without?

Friday, 24 April 2015

Evan Thomas Pheasant 27/10/2014 - 06/02/2015 Little Hearts Matter

I want to tell you all about my friend's little hero called Evan.

My lovely friend Lucy, recieved some devastating news at her routine anomaly scan on 24th June 2014 that her baby boy was suspected to have a congenital heart condition called Hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS - half a heart) and they were refered to Leeds hospital for a diagnosis, which was fairly quick 2 days later. It was confirmed that baby had HLHS, Lucy and her partner Geoff were given options - terminate the pregnancy or continue and opt for surgery on their baby boy once he was born. They went ahead with their pregnancy (and had the most gorgeous little man I might add).

At the end of August another problem was detected and they were transferred to Birmingham Womens and Birmingham Childrens hospital. On Lucy's birthday 2nd September Birmingham hospital detected another problem - a restrictie Atrial Septum. They were then given their options again, they declined because they had come this far and were determined not to give up on their little boy. At their next appointment 28 days later they had another scan which told them the problems hadn't got worse, baby was growing as he should and other than his heart there were no concerns. Lucy was booked into Birmingham to be induced on 24th October.

Evan Thomas Pheasant was born on 27th October at 9:28pm, he went to the neonatal ward and the next day transferred to Birmingham Children's Hospital where 3 days later, 30th October he had his first surgery and recovery was amazing, resulting in Evan being discharged from hospital on 10th November 2014 at only 2 weeks old - he was just 11 days after having open heart surgery!

Sadly Evan passed away on 6th February 2015 during a routine outpatients appointment, he was just 14 weeks old.

Now his mummy Lucy is keen to raise money for the charity Little Hearts Matter - a charity which supports families of children born with a single ventricle (half a heart) because the support they offered to her and her family including other children was amazing, without them they wouldn't of had as much information as they did.Obviously they are really grateful for them and want to help them... which is why I'm writing this post now.... I'm so proud of her, her first coffee morning raised over £700 which is amazing and she's not stopping there either!

On 24th May 2015, there will be a tea, coffee and cake morning at Dolly's Diner - 63 Storforth Lane Trading Estate, S410QZ Chesterfield which will be at 11am-2pm to raise money for Little Hearts Matter.

If you're local please try to attend.

If you're a brand or PR company and would like to get involved by donating a raffle prize please please get in touch and I will send you Lucy's details for things to be sent straight to her. Anything will be really greatfully recieved to make money for this wonderful charity.

please like Evan's facebook page here - https://www.facebook.com/EvanThomasPheasantHLHS?fref=ts
Mary-Kate, x

c-section mums

I saw this recently online and it really annoyed me, I know I shouldn't let it because it's actually by a 'religious' group that would rather see women and their babies die than have a c-section - makes sense doesn't it?! *sarcastic face here*

'Face the facts: you didn't really give birth' well actually I had a baby... so to me that's the same thing!

'You caught a lucky break' well I'm still alive and so is my baby if that's what you mean... but lucky break? Anyone who has had a c-section knows just how hard it is to have a Cesarean section, planned or unplanned. How hard it is to recover afterwards and the personal feelings you feel about needing to have a c-section.

Mine was an emergency, I had a cord prolapse and if I didn't have a c-section when I did we both wouldn't have made it, now this religious group thinks God would prefer both me and my child to be dead? No. It's 2015 and we are so so lucky we know what we know about c-sections and saving our precious babies lives and those of mothers too.

Cord prolapse is definitely rare.  I had a general anaesthetic, I was by myself because Michael wasn't allowed in. I didn't get to see my baby being born and I didn't get to hold her straight away, I didn't even see her face for an hour after she was born and there was no skin to skin... I don't call that lucky.

I had major surgery. I didn't have any pain relief before hand, no epidural. So it was absolutely agony when I woke up.... that wasn't 'easy'. To me it made me feel rubbish, I felt like I had failed by needing the help of a c-section but once I had (some) sleep I realised I was the luckiest mum in the world to still have my baby and no matter how she arrived on this earth, she's here and safe. I will be forever grateful to the team of people that done my c-section. The midwife who made sure Isabelle didn't cut off her oxygen supply, keeping her alive. The doctor who held my hand telling me everything was going to be ok while I just on repeat said "please don't let my baby die".

It's amazing what doctors can do! According to my records from examination and the button being pressed for an emergency to Isabelle being out was only 8 minutes. 8 minutes to save two lives considering everything they needed to do. Amazing right? It feels weird that I will be one of the only women those midwives will witness having a cord prolapse.

When the doctor turned to the midwife and said cord prolapse - she said "you're joking?!". She was such a lovely midwife too.

Superior women who actually had what it took to get the job done - I have done labour, my first child. Naturally. Easy peasy for me. 2 hours 45 minutes and then another 2 hours for placenta to come out.. recovery was 2nd degree tears and I can tell you it was so so much easier to recover than it was after a c-section.

Recovery - sleepless nights and trying to recover from major surgery isn't something that would be ok with any other operation. Exercises you need to do, even though you've got everything a new mum needs to do too, you're in pain and you're tired.

Oh and by the way, silly people who made that silly picture - I didn't get choice whether I 'wanted' or even agreed to a c-section, the decision and rightly so was made for me by the doctor. It was described as a 'real medical emergency'.

C-section mums, I salute you. It's hard and you deserve a massive hug! x

Glue ear - it's time for grommets

For months now we have known that Oliver has glue ear, turning the tv up high, not doing as well as he could be in school, ignoring us and getting told off for it all led us to believe something was wrong with Oliver's hearing. Then one day he come out of school and told me that one of his friends said that Oliver had 'snot' coming out of his ear. I took him straight to the doctors after school and he said that Oliver had glue ear. Oliver had 3 hearing tests over the months and didn't do so well on them, so after waiting 3 months from consultant appointment to another follow up appointment it was decided he will have grommets fitted in both ears. More than half of all cases of glue ear clear up by themselves but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

Why treatment is required for us - Oliver can hardly hear at all when he's got a cold it's terrible, the rest of the time I'm shouting or repeating myself or making him look at me so he can see my lips and put the peices together of what I'm saying. It's causing significant problems with his learning and speech development, he is actually starting to have speech and language therapy as he struggles with S and Z. S often being replaced with F and making perfectly innocent words sound like swear words.

What  are grommets? a grommet is a small tube which under general anaesthetic is inserted into the ear through a small cut into their eardrum, it's designed to help drain away fluid in the middle ear and maintain air pressure. General anaesthetic is scary when it's your child having it! But it only takes around 15 minutes and the fact they do this so often makes me more at ease.

I have just got his letter to say that he will be having his pre op in May and he will have his grommets fitted on 1st June - which is much quicker than I had thought it would be on NHS waiting list so I'm really greatful that my little boy will be able to hear properly soon, especially before starting year 2 at school.

I'm going to put together a little bag for him to keep him entertained while he's in hospital - you know how boring these places are and without a doubt there will be some sort of delay... anyone suggest anything he might like to take with him?

Mary-Kate, x

That's not my .... books for babies

Isabelle loves books, I can't tell you how many times a day she likes to get all of her books out, sometimes you just give up and leave them out. Who wan't a tidy house anyway? At the moment her favourites are the 'That's not my...' range by Usborne. That's not my panda, thats not my lion, thats not my frog... the list goes on because although we obviously do not own them all there are currently 44 board books in the range. They are great for babies with their patches of different textures and bright colours throughout, fantastic for helping little ones to develop sensory and language skills.

Oliver actually had some of these books when he was a baby, there wasn't 44 in the collection then so I'm sure the range has grown alot over the last 4 years and I have a feeling it will continue to grow in the years to come.

Does your little one like the thats not my range? Which is their favourite?

Mary-Kate, x