Tuesday, 22 September 2015

parenting liar liar pants on fire!

Sometimes it's other parents that make our days so much shitter and it shouldn't be, we should be in this together. I know my children aren't perfect, they are not genius' but they are lovely... sometimes, I mean when Isabelle isn't doing her high pitch scream! & when Oliver isn't moaning about some thing or another or like he did this morning told me I was too fat.. yeah thanks *thinks to self* you just lost your pudding mate! I might be chubbier than I was before I had Isabelle but so what, I'll lose it slowly (preferably in the next 18months before I have to wear a white dress) but right now I'm comfort eating these early terrible twos days away.

What gets me the most is when other parents make you feel like they're competing with you, it's something that unfortunately I've experienced a fair few times over the last 6 years of being a mum and I just don't understand why its required. I would rather tell you actually this is really hard, I'm struggling a little, I'm tired or I need 5 minutes peace.

There's some parents who when you tell them for example Isabelle says nah-nahh meaning banana they come back with oh well my *insert name here... I couldn't think of one!* can actually say the alphabet at 10 months, knows all of his colours and tells me he loves me every night before he goes to sleep - perfectly by himself every night without fail I might add, sleeping through the night until atleast like 9am so I can wake up and look perfectly perfect each day, make up already done and everything sorted for the day ahead, probably even got a perfectly cleaned home. Yes, really? Ok. Well I'm clearly doing something majorly wrong here or you're a liar liar pants on fire! I have a messy house but I've got happy kids so that's fine.

So to other mums out there that have ever experienced a parent like this...
  1. Smile but ignore what they're saying. No child is perfect! They're perfect to us and we love them more than anything but they are not Albert Einstein and Mother Teresa all in one. Why do these parents need to make others feel bad? to make themselves feel better? No sense. Lets just be nice.
  2. If your child like my son Oliver is behind with something, his is reading - it's fine! They will catch up, I did when I was little and I can obviously read ok now. I hated when he had his phonics test at the end of year 1, seems so stressful for them especially because he knew it was happening, he hadn't been able to hear because of glue ear so he got a bit behind anyway and then he had 3 weeks off school because of half term, having his grommets operation then tonsillitis and scarlet fever. The day he went back he had his phonics test and failed to get the pass mark so he was very upset. We have got him a tutor and obviously we help him too but we have found he works better with someone else!! I learnt so by sitting on the stairs listening to him read with his tutor. I mean honestly, I am basically begging or bribing this child with treats in exchange for him reading the book to me but with his tutor oh wow he can suddenly read it? Thank you muchly Oliver.
  3. If your toddler has tantrums out in public as hard as it is just go with the flow! You might get some dirty looks but a lot of the looks you're going to get are from other parents thinking 'Been there!!' It is really hard when you're trying everything you can think of to get this tiny person to stop screaming the loudest they possibly can. You know they're frustrated about something but what?! Helpful suggestions get me, "do you think you should pick her up or let her walk?" oh what so I can get to where I need to be so much slower, I'm clearly running a little late but otherwise great suggestion thanks..
  4. Emergency snacks are fine! I often find myself giving Isabelle some smoothie melts to keep her quiet so I can quickly have a look around a shop or drink a cup of tea while it's still warm... ah warm tea. isn't that nice.

I know there are some children that are practically perfect in every way! Mine obviously are, like totally perfect. Oliver never wakes me up anymore, Isabelle is potty trained and speaking to me lots and yeah ok I'm lying. But seriously just because our children are perfect to us, they don't need to be 'perfect' at everything. Relax competitive mums & dads and stop making others feel pants.

Kind regards,
The tired grumpy mum - that should of been my blog name! dammit.

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