Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Getting Your Family Through Losing A Loved One

It’s the last thing that anyone wants to think about; however, losing a loved one for an array of reasons can come at unexpected times, and will impact you and your family greatly. Whoever may have passed away in your family; you’ll want to ensure that your kids, partner, and yourself, are able to move through the difficult times together, and push forward in a positive manner. It can be especially difficult for younger children, as they may never have had to deal with loss before, and you need to help them understand what’s happened and allow them to process their emotions. It will be equally, if not, more so difficult for you as parents to cope with a loss, and look after the wellbeing of other members of your family who are grieving.

Although times will start off as a challenge; there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will be able to come out the other side and remember the good times you shared with your loved one. Whether you lost someone close a while ago, have just had to deal with a death in the family, or want to prepare yourself should the worst happen; it’s always a smart idea to think about how to move forward with everyone’s best interests at heart. The following are some ideas, help, and advice for those who have, or may suffer loss, and want the tools to look after themselves and the rest of their loved ones.


Get The Admin Out Of The Way

It may seem morbid, but having a list of things to do as soon as possible when a loved one passes, is the best way to ensure that you and your family can be left to grieve in peace. There will be a funeral to organise, paperwork to sign, and wills to go through, along with several other legal matters once the dust has settled. If you have some level of preparation regarding this situation; you’ll have a weight lifted off your shoulders during the first weeks and months after it’s happened. Therefore, it’s worth knowing who you’ll go to for reputable help, and having an idea of the services and people you will need to call upon.

To ensure that there are minimal family disputes regarding money, assets, and property; make sure that you seek the advice and help of power of attorney solicitors so that any issues can be resolved efficiently. Getting the right help regarding any legal matters in times of upset and distress will help everyone involved, and decisions won’t be made in an emotional state, so it’s worth knowing what solicitors you’ll be using throughout the process. Emotions will be running high; however, try to remember that your loved one would not want disputes or arguments to happen between family members, so honouring their wishes as much as possible is the best that you can do.

When it comes to the person’s funeral; it’s always helpful if they have left instructions or their wishes written down for you to follow. However, this isn’t always the case, especially when death is unexpected. Therefore, you should think about the person’s personality; favourite colours and music can help to contribute to flower and song choice during the occasion. Many feel that a celebration of the person’s life is a positive way to move forward and enjoy all the memories people have shared with them. You’ll need an order of service, and a comfortable space to go after the ceremony to eat and drink with attendees, and perhaps share stories and smile about the good times that were shared.

Think about providing people with your loved one’s favourite food and drinks, play their favourite band or artist, and if they had a favourite colour pattern; ask people to wear an item of clothing to reflect that. The funeral is your chance to say a fond farewell, and begin to grieve, so it’s worth thinking about how to do so in a positive manner. There’ll be plenty of heartache; however, as long as you can fill in the gaps with smiles and laughter regarding the person, you and your family will be able to move forward.

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Moving Forward With Memories

The celebration of the person’s life should continue as you begin to come to terms with your loss over the coming months and years ahead. When it comes to your kids; let them know that it’s okay to discuss your family member, and encourage them to ask questions and share their feelings. Photographs of your loved one around the house is a great reminder of who they were and how they made everyone feel. When you’re ready; sit down with your family and create a photo collage, or an album, full of pictures, words, and memories regarding the person so that everyone will have a great source of comfort to look at whenever they choose to.

You can continue to remember them by starting new family traditions; the person’s birthday or anniversary can be times of reflection, so think about hosting a family meal each year or visiting their resting place together. Keep talking about them, looking at photos, playing their music, and enjoying how they impacted your life. Showing your kids that it’s okay to both cry from the sadness of their passing and laugh at some of the best memories you have of your loved one will help them to process the situation and do the same in the future.

Grief and loss are challenging; so remember that time is a great healer and just take things step by step. If it’s a person that’s close to your spouse that has passed; be their biggest support system, and expect an array of moods and emotions to hit the family. Remind one another that there is plenty of love in the household so that people know they have someone to talk to, lean on, and a shoulder to cry on whenever they need. Be as organised and open as possible, and your family will be able to get through the most difficult of times; together, as a team.

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