Saturday, 23 January 2016

teenage thoughts of being fat

When I was a teenager, I thought I was FAT?!

Because everyone has a toilet photo taken at some point?!
Now at 26 years old (almost 27 but not there just yet!) I am a UK size 14, it's a snug 14 I'm not going to lie - I've over eaten in the last two years and I'm well aware of that thank you very much! I had about a year of being unable to eat certain things whilst breastfeeding Isabelle as I couldn't eat any dairy as she's allergic to it. When I stopped breastfeeding her, that's where my problem with over eating really starting.

I just love food.

I am a comfort eater too, a bored eater... an emotional eater I guess? So now I look at photos of me now and know I need to lose some weight to a) fit into my old favourite clothes, you know those ones that you keep 'just in case' you lose the weight, they'll fit on your body perfectly again. Or atleast go up over my bottom... That'll be fine. b) be a fitter person, healthier and able to walk up the huge [ok ok its not that huge] hill without feeling out of breath at all and c) [the most important] be able to continue to run around after my children and be a good healthy role model for them. Don't get me wrong, I'm always going to be known as the girl who is in love with bourbon biscuits [Tesco ones are the best incase you're wondering... trust me I've tried most of them! I even have a mug with a bourbon on] but I do want to lose some weight and be healthier so I'm going to start as of now! I guess my really big thing is I just don't want to put anymore weight on. I'm not that miserable right now about my size but if I got bigger then I would be. I want to get back to a size 12, so my goal isn't a huge one but every goal counts and all that. I have a wedding dress to fit into - March 2017 so I've got time to lose weight very slowly and that's what I intend to do. 

When I was a teenager, I genuinely thought I was fat. These photos within this blog post are from my late teenage years (16-19). I cant believe looking back that, that girl thought she was huge. Like not even just a little on the chubby side, just absolutely huge. People at school would call me fat, those legs got called tree trunks?! I listened and that was stupid of me, I was just average size but in my mind I thought I was gigantic. If either of my children come to me in the future saying they think they're fat, or that someone at school said something, when they're not or even if they are, I'm going to understand that perhaps they genuinely think they are and try to make them feel beautiful.

When I had Oliver, I piled on the pounds... stones and the end result wasn't a happy one, I slowly lost it (not all of it...but a 'happy' amount) and then bam! Pregnant with Isabelle and so my weight loss journey starts again.

Mary-Kate, x


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