Sunday 24 January 2016

Dear Isabelle

Sitting here thinking about how you so quickly became a 22 month old little girl, one who likes to jump in puddles and can say "mummy" and "daddy" all of a sudden in the cutest little voice ever when just the other day it was mum-mum and dad-dad then bam! it hit me, I haven't even filled out your baby book yet?! I meant to do that. I really did. And not only that but you, you don't even have a baby box. What have I been doing!? Now I cannot possibly go to bed tonight until I have written something to make myself feel a little less 'guilty'? is that the right word for what I'm feeling?!

Your brother Oliver, was my first child and got his baby book started whilst I was still pregnant with him everything was new - I had a lot of time on my hands if you think about it. Just because you're my second doesn't make it any less important at all in any way... I was just kept busy by a little boy called Oliver. It has a section in it where I put his 'family tree', pictures of me pregnant and important doctors appointments. Now have am I going to remember important appointments with you!? I can't even remember what we did last Wednesday, let alone the date I first heard your heartbeat or even when you got your first tooth. Why didn't I keep post it notes or something? ... little note on my phone.. perhaps facebook updates may be able to help * searches facebook page *

Here's a photo of me pregnant with you. Incase you would like to see it. You kept me waiting little lady. A whole 11 days as well, not even like fashionably late - you were just soo late. Worth the wait and all that.

Oliver has a box in his bedroom, ohhh you haven't seen it, believe me it's well out of reach of tiny little wondering hands what will destroy the contents without intent. It's in his wardrobe at the top. Inside he'll find, first photos, his baby book, his first outfit, his coming home outfit, first shoes, photo of first shoes at clarks, first lock of hair in an envelope, hospital name bands and oh so much more random bits and bobs. Don't get me wrong, I have got your baby box!! It's upstairs but it's empty. I'm so sorry. I forgot to put anything in it. I have the bits, they're scattered around...  you see me and daddy didn't get much sleep for around the first 10 months of your life and then after that the sleep wasn't fantastic either so we existed in a dazed zombie kind of way. oh no, now I'm thinking of the walking dead - some awful awful programme your Daddy made me watch! *looks around the room*... one of your first shoes is in the drawer, next to my wardrobe. Your first outfits are in Oliver's room at the back of his wardrobe and under your changing unit there's a pretty little box with your hospital name bands inside. I do care, exactly the same and I want you to have the same but for some reason I haven't got around to doing it!
So, sorry... I guess? Not that you know. It's on my list of 'to-dos' to get your box together, I guess you've got that second child thing going on... the one where you still leave the house for the school run in your pjs! No one knows... you're under a footmuff - it's fine! Plus everyone loves those postman pat pjs you adore wearing so much.

Plus in my defence your brother was a fantastic sleeper so I had the time to do a box and a book.
I'll update here when I've put your box together with some photos too.

Phew, now I can go to bed without feeling like an awful person for the sudden realisation I haven't treated both children the 'same'. "Am I doing ok at this parenting thing?" Sigh.

Mary-Kate, x

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